The Truth Of The Dark
by SupeRwanDerer
Summary: This story is set around 5x18. There's some Mature stuff later on, so be ready for that. All Destiel, all the time. Basically, Sam figures out that there's something going on between his brother and our favorite angel in the dark and he's so not ready to find out what. Top!Cas Bottom!Dean. With a sprinkling of rough love and some Wing!kink. Enjoy!
1. The Beginning

_**Hi all you beautiful people out there! This is the first Fanfiction I've ever written so please be gentle, constructive criticism is always welcome, but please don't be mean as I am a gentle soul. This will probably end up being a few chapters long, and I get writer's block very easily so please be patient with me. Anyway, this is what I imagine happened on that fateful night in Season 5 Episode 18. Enjoy!**_

_**BTW, I do not own Supernatural or any of it's affiliates (unfortunately) and I am not making money in any way, shape, or form from this.**_

Sam was getting very upset with Bobby, questioning him as to where the hell Adam had gotten to.

"He was right in front of me, then he disappeared into thin air." Said Bobby.

"Because the angels took him." With a rush of air and the sound of fluttering wings, Dean and Castiel appeared in the living room to their left. Sam looked over, startled. Castiel was supporting a bloody, bruised, unconscious Dean. He had his arm around his waist and his other hand holding Dean's arm that was slung around his shoulders.

"What the hell happened to him?" Sam demanded, gesturing at his brother.

"Me." Cas replied solidly, his eyes staring hard and coldly at Sam, as if daring him to ask further. When Sam didn't pursue the subject, the angel carefully moved himself and Dean over to the bed underneath the window in Bobby's living room. He laid Dean down as gently down on the bed as possible. The reason for this was not because Cas didn't want to hurt him, because he was still angry, but Dean had gotten enough of a beating for the moment. He turned at the sound of rolling wheels.

"What do you mean the angels took Adam? You branded his ribs didn't you?" Bobby questioned from the doorway.

"Yes, Adam must have tipped them." He said simply and, with a flutter of wings, was gone. Sam turned to Bobby who shrugged. He ran his hand through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh.

* * *

Dean awoke on the bed in Bobby's living room, head pounding. He tried to sit up but the blinding pain in his ribs made him lie back down. He stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily as though he had been running. He glanced to the left out the window, it was dark outside and, come to think of it, it was dark inside as well. He looked around the living room not finding a sign of life.

"Sammy?" He called out into the darkness. No response. "Bobby?" Still nothing. He took a deep breath and slowly rolled onto his right side, jaw clenched. When he reached his destination, he let out a long breath, taking a small break before trying to sit up. He looked over at his right hand, which was handcuffed to the bed. "Son of a bitch." He muttered, feeling angrier than he had when waking up. "ANYONE?!" he yelled, knowing there wasn't going to be an answer. He rolled back onto his back, gritting his teeth at the pain.

"Dean." Came a gruff, familiar voice from the corner of the room. At hearing his name Dean snapped his head to the right, pain searing through his head, causing him to hiss. The angel was a silhouette in the corner.

"What Cas?! Come to finish the job?" He demanded, when his head was back down to a dull throb.

"No." replied the angel flatly.

"Then what?" Said Dean, anger still boiling under his skin. "You made your point, and the handcuffs really drive the nail in hard." He positioned his head back to stare at the ceiling.

"It's your brother," He paused, searching for the right words. "Bobby tells me that Sam stormed off after I – left – after dropping you off here."

"Wish I could help, but I'm kinda tied up at the moment." Dean replied sarcastically, glaring up at the ceiling. In truth, the statement hit him hard, but he would never say it, although his insides were writhing from worry. Why would his brother just ditch Bobby? Why would Sam just ditch his unconscious brother?

"I know, I'm the one who fastened the handcuffs to you. I just thought you may want to know that you have ruined everyone's life." Dean heard soft footsteps approach where he was lying, and he looked over to see Cas standing over him. Moonlight shone a ghostly blue light on the angels face, making him look gaunt. His eyebrows were knitted together and his lips held a slight frown. He stared down at Dean, eyes cold as ice. "You forced Sam to drink that demon's blood by treating him like a child," "No." Dean whispered, "I didn't know!" Castiel bent down so that his face was hovering just inches over Dean's, breath hot in his face. He brought up a hand a placed it over Dean's mouth so he wouldn't speak. Panicking, Dean thrashed his head back and forth, but the pain was so severe he had to stop. "Bobby stabbed himself to kill the demon inside him so he wouldn't hurt you," he hissed pressing his hand harder into Dean's mouth. His teeth were slicing the insides of his lips and he could taste blood. "And I – I rebelled. For you."

Castiel gripped his face harder and Dean felt his teeth being slowly pushed out of his gums. He screamed into Castiel's hand and clenched both fists as he felt the first tooth snap and fall into the back of his throat. He choked, feeling another snap and fall. He tried to sit up to cough, but Cas held strong and Dean knew he would be unable to move. He couldn't breathe. He flung his left hand out to punch, scratch, anything. His hand met skin, but the look on the angel's face told him he was not fazed. Dean couldn't breathe. He felt darkness overtake him and the last thing he saw was Cas's intensely blue stare. Then all was dark.


	2. The Dream

**_Sorry about that last chapter guys, I just now found the line feature, and I couldn't edit it. Anyway, this is Chapter 2 and things are about to get very weird! Have fun!_**

Sam woke with a start, cold beads of sweat running down his face and chest. He had been having nightmares about Cas turning and hurting Dean before, but he had never endangered his life before. He rubbed his teeth, wincing at the thought of them being pushed out of place. After carding a hand through his hair and sighing, he got up and went downstairs.

He nodded minutely after seeing that his brother was safely chained to the bed in Bobby's living room. He started for the kitchen when he remembered his dream. After a moment's hesitation he walked the distance to the bed in three strides and bent down over his sleeping brother, lifting up his top lip slightly to ensure his teeth were still intact. Dean groaned and rolled his head to the side, eyes snapping open. Sam quickly withdrew his hand.

"Dude, what the hell? What're you, my dentist now?"

"No Dean, I was just," Sam paused, unsure what to say. "Checking."

Dean looked at him dubiously before shaking his head and swiping a hand over his face and sitting up. He went to stand up when he seemed to remember that he was chained to the bed. "Any chance I can get these damned things off? I'd like to eat at some point." He read the hesitation on Sam's face and continued. "Look, I'm not going to run off and give my body to a dick angel, okay?"

"Okay," said Sam, shaking his head. He started unlocking the handcuffs. "So, what happened with you and Cas yesterday? He got you pretty good, didn't he?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." Dean replied, chuckling to himself. He was looking at a spot just over Sam's shoulder when he smiled and licked his lips seemingly unconsciously. "Speak of the Devil."

"Hello Dean. Sam." Said a deep, gravelly voice from behind Sam, making him start. He spun around to be faced with the formerly mentioned angel. "And I am not Lucifer, Dean."

"Could've fooled me with the way you worked me over yesterday." Dean replied tartly. Sam could've sworn that he saw the ghost of a smile pass over the angels' features at those words. He shook it off as trick of the light and proceeded to un-cuff his brother.

"Ah, much better." Dean said, rubbing his wrists and wincing. "Now that I'm free, who wants to get some grub?"

"Dean, are you okay?" Sam asked, wide-eyed. His mind was reeling, and he wasn't quite sure if this was actually his brother standing before him. Sure, Dean had a voracious appetite, but the Dean he knew would've thrown a punch at Castiel as soon as he was free. The Dean he knew would've started screaming about how much everyone sucks and just being generally being melodramatic and angsty. He knew something definitely happened last night, what with the way Cas had just popped in with Dean unconscious around his shoulder, but at the time that seemed self-explanatory. Sam was beginning to wonder if there was more to the story.

"What Sammy, I'm hungry!" Dean said and walked away. Sam heard the front door shut and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Cas, what's wrong with him?" Sam said, turning to the much smaller man still in the living room.

"He seems perfectly fine to me, considering."

"Yeah, he seems _too _fine, Cas."

"I'm not sure what you mean." The angel replied with his signature head tilt and eye squint.

"Just, ugh, never mind. Okay?" Sam said. The sound of a car starting up came through the window, quickly followed by "Get your asses out here or I'm leaving without you!" Sam grudgingly headed toward the door, when he remembered what Cas had said in his dream '_you have ruined everyone's life_'. He turned around, only to find that the angel was gone.

* * *

"Dean, I have to talk to you about something." Sam said, as soon as his monstrous frame was inside the car. "I had this dream last night-"

"Really? Clowns or midgets?" Dean nudged Sam with his elbow, a grin plastered on his face. Sam shook his head and decided to continue.

"No Dean, listen. I think you should be careful around Cas. I know I don't have premonitions anymore, but this could be something serious. I just think he might hurt you."

"In case you didn't notice Sammy, he already did." Dean retorted, pointing to a particularly nasty bruise on his cheek.

"No, I mean worse than that. I've been having dreams about him hurting you, but in my dream last night he killed you! He made you choke on your own teeth, and I don't think you should brush it off so easily, he's kind of a loose cannon lately."

"Sam, it's fine. I really don't think Cas is going to kill me." He glanced over at his brother and smiled. "Trust me, okay?"

"Okay," Sam said, feeling uneasy. "Just be careful Dean."

"I am the definition of careful Sammy!" He glanced at Sam again to see that he had decided to put a bitch face on at that.

The rest of the car ride was silent. They got into the diner and had procured a table when, with a flutter of wings, Sam was no longer alone on his side of the booth.

"Hey Cas." Said both boys in unison, having noticed the third party.

"Hello Dean. Sam." Castiel replied. And with that, the staring contest began. Sam had been noticing this for a while now, but he didn't really think anything of it, until now. Normally, when they began staring at each other, the tension was thick with anger with the undertone of something Sam couldn't quite place his finger on. But this one was weird, this time the anger was the undertone and the something was playing a big role. Sam shrugged it off and watched the waitress set down their food.

"Cas, I had been meaning to ask you earlier, I had a dream last night where you said that Dean ruined everyone's life. Do you think that's true?" Sam was staring at his salad, pushing it around with a fork, and Dean was seriously into his burger, barely paying attention to what Sam had said.

"I do not think that is true Sam. In fact, after last night, I'm pretty sure he learned his lesson about loyalty."

"Yeah, right." Dean said indignantly around his burger. And that's when things got really strange. In the same moment, Sam watched Cas's eyebrows raise minutely, his mouth tighten, and Dean gasped from the other side of the table, effectively breathing in part of the bite he had just taken of his burger. Sam watch as he coughed, took a large drink of coffee, and turned to glare at the angel. Sam glanced back and forth between the two men, unsure of what had happened.

"You okay Dean?"

"Fine, Sam." Dean answered, not even taking his eyes off Cas. Sam resolved to try to eat his salad. There was another gasp, followed by an audible gulp and the sound of Dean's fist hitting the table. Sam looked up again to see his brother slumped over the table and breathing heavily into his food.

"Dean!" Sam yelled, about to jump up from the table when his brother put a hand up to stop him, he calmed on the other side of the table, but kept alert. He turned to ask Castiel if he could use his 'angel mojo' as Dean called it to see if he was okay, but the words died on his lips. He sat maybe half of a foot from the angel and could clearly see that his pupils were dilated, and his mouth was pulled into a smile (at least a smile by his standards). Sam watched his hand move under the table and in turn saw his brother start scraping the top of the table and breathing more heavily. Feeling uncomfortable and confused, he got up to go to the bathroom thinking that this was very strange indeed.


	3. Angel Mojo

_**Just so you know, this chapter could be considered a bit Mature, so proceed with caution.**_

Dean knew exactly what had gone on at the diner. A subtle defiance countered by display of superiority. It had happened more than once, but never when Sammy was. He pondered why their silent promise would suddenly be broken by his angel. The first time Cas had used his 'angel mojo' on Dean came as a complete surprise, now that he thought about it and his reaction to it, it was pretty funny actually.

* * *

They were staying in a motel just out of Iowa, on a case involving a particularly nasty vengeful spirit, then again, when were vengeful spirits not nasty. Dean was propped up on the bed watching another re-run of Doctor Sexy MD, sipping a beer, while Sam sat at the table, face glowing blue from the laptop propped open in front of him. It was supposed to be a quiet night of research when there was a flutter of wings and a slightly disgruntled angel standing at the foot of the bed Dean was resting on, squarely between him and the television.

"Dude!" Dean yelled, throwing his hands up. "Do you mind?!"

"Not particularly." Cas replied, ticking his head to the side with a slight frown.

"What do you want?" Dean asked, clearly frustrated. He stared directly into the blue eyes that he had stared into so often. Those deep blue eyes that reminded him of the ocean on a stormy day, they had such power behind them. _I wonder how powerful he is.. _Dean thought to himself, licking his lips. _Wait, what?_ Dean thought to himself, shaking his head to clear his thoughts.

"I have no news of Lucifer, and I don't know where to look next." At this Castiel shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. He was clearly frustrated as it was not often he was unsure of how to proceed.

"Well, you wanna move? I'm missing my show."

"Dean, what's your problem?" Sam asked from his place at the table, pulling an award winning bitch face at his brother.

"Nothing Sam." Dean replied, staring down the angel in front of him. After all he'd been through was it really so hard to just let him watch a little TV?

"Whatever, you hungry? I'll go get some food, give me your keys." Dean tossed Sam his keys from across the room which he caught with one hand and left the room, slamming the door behind them. Throughout this transaction Dean never once looked away from the angel.

"Don't make me tell you again, Cas. Move!" At this Cas cocked an eyebrow and his hand shot out in front of him, aimed at the man on the bed.

"I am so tired of you Dean!" Simultaneously the light bulb in the lamp next to the bed shattered and the TV shut off. Dean's eyes widened at the sudden outburst. Castiel took two steps forward so his legs were flush with the bed. "You scream at me for doing what you want." Dean felt an invisible force around his wrists tighten and pull them to the side of the bed, his legs were next. He lay there, unable to move and gaped up at the angel at the foot of the bed glowered at him. Castiel's voice was ominously calm. "And you scream at me for not doing what you want." Castiel glowered at his charge and a small smile pulled his lips. "Don't scream Dean."

Dean suddenly felt a pressure just below his buckle, he gasped in surprise. "Cas what-" But that was all he managed to get out as the pressure started a slow path up his abdomen. It felt like hands, slowly tracing his stomach muscles, reaching up under his shirt, pausing and moving in tight circles directly on his nipples. He tried to move, tried to get out of this weird situation, but the invisible shackles held strong. One of the 'hands' started moving back down south and suddenly it gripped around his member while the other ran over his ribs to his back, scratching savagely at the skin there. His eyelids fell closed as a loud, desperate moan worked its way through Dean and out his mouth when the force started rubbing very gently around his manhood. Dean cried and arched up off the bed.

"Cas, please-" He whispered through heavy breaths. He opened his eyes marginally and peered at the man, his eyelids were half closed, brows furrowed, and a small smile was playing at his lips. Dean could have sworn he saw a bulge in the man's pants, and right as he was about to comment on this, the pressure started moving faster. It worked its way up and down his shaft, getting him closer and closer. He squeezed his eyes shut, arched up off the bed "Oh shit!" He was on the brink, and then, there was nothing.

Dean opened his eyes, already feeling the pressure in his nether regions building up. Cas was still standing at the edge of the bed, breathing heavily, arms down by his sides, and he was smirking? Dean looked closer and, sure enough, the stoic angel was smirking. "Cas," Dean breathed "What… Why?" He brought his arms up, glancing at them momentarily to see that he could, in fact, move his arms again. When he glanced back up the angel, he was gone. Sighing he sat up on the bed, pulling off his shirt in preparation to take a shower. At that point in time, Sam walked in through the door to see Dean on his bed, slouched over and back to the door.

"Dean," Sam paused, searching for the least awkward phrasing.

"What, Sam!" Dean snapped and turned around. He was flushed and a bit red in the face.

"When was the last time you got laid?"

"Why do you care?"

"You've still got the scratch marks on your back." Sam replied, snickering to himself.

"Shut up." Dean retorted and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower, and relieve the pressure caused by his blue balls.


	4. That One Time

Then there was the third time it happened, Dean mused to himself. That time, Sam _almost_ caught them.

* * *

It was a few days before the Diner Incident as Sam would dub it in his head, and Dean was shutting him out. Sam didn't get why his brother was always so wound up, and wouldn't just talk to him. It really made no sense because something was obviously going on. Every time Castiel would show up Dean would do one of two things. He would either leave the room abruptly with some lame excuse, or he would alternate between giving him the cold shoulder and staring at him intensely.

Sam had decided that he had enough after Dean had left the room again with the excuse of having to go brush his teeth. This wouldn't be so bad except that Castiel wasn't even in the room, he was in the kitchen. Oh, and this was the third time he had used this excuse that day. Slipping out of the room quietly Sam followed him down the hall of Bobby's house. He watched his brother duck into the guest room on the right. Sam padded softly behind him, thankful he had taken off his shoes. When he reached the room he tried the door, but it was locked. He raised his hand to knock when he heard a soft moan come through the door. He shook his head and chuckled quietly. _Really?_ He thought to himself. _He must be really desperate if he feels the need to masturbate three times a day. _He began to walk back down the hall when he heard something wholly unreal.

"Caaas…" It was Dean's voice again, he was sure of it. He spun around on his heel, in three quick strides he was at the door again, listening intently. He didn't want to, but he had to make sure that he was hearing things. I mean, there was no way his totally heterosexual brother just moaned out a male's name. No, scratch that, a male _angel's_ name_._

"Castiel, I hope you can hear me right now because I'm friggin prayin'."

Sam was horrified. He reached up and banged on the door with his right hand. "Dean!" He yelled through the door. Total silence echoed from around him from everywhere. He heard the locking mechanism on the door click and it opened, revealing a sliver of Dean's face.

"I'm a little busy." Dean said with a smirk.

"Uh, no, you're not." Sam pushed his way into the room, showing his brother that he wasn't going to drop it. Dean closed it behind him. "I heard that, you know."

"Heard what?" Dean squeaked. Sam decided then and there that Dean would never hear the end of that and his brother would deny up and down that he did not, in fact, squeak.

"I heard all of it, Dean. Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"Not," Dean paused, grabbing the nightstand beside him. "Really." He finished. Sweat was pooling above his brow and on the skin above his collarbone. He gave Sam a tight-lipped smile and gasped, his knees buckling.

"Dude, are you okay? Are you sick?"

"No Sam. I'm fine, or at least I would be if you would leave." It was then that Sam noticed that his brother was trying, very poorly mind you, to cover up a prominent bulge in his pants. Morbidly curious, Sam pressed on.

"Not until you tell me why I heard what I heard." Sam rubbed his neck trying to will himself to repeat what he had heard. "You moaned Dean." He began, having to talk over his brother's ragged breathing. "Then you said Cas's name, then you prayed to him, and I just want to know why." He took a deep breath in and waited.

"I didn't say his name. You were hearing things. And I just-just-just thought that I should try to get him here, you know to talk about a-angel stuff. **Would you just stop for a second**?!"

"Stop what Dean?" With that, Dean groaned quite loudly, his eyes widening as he fell to his knees. "Dean?!" Sam said worriedly, all thoughts of his brother's odd behavior out of his mind. He knelt down and rested his hands on Dean's shoulders.

"Listen, I'll just be out in a sec, okay? I just need to-uh- freshen up." He gave his best smile to Sam, who then proceeded to get up and walk out the door, all the while tossing worried looks over his shoulder. "I'm fine." As soon as the door was secure, Dean sighed and lifted up his hand, surveying the damage on his pants. "Son of a bitch." He muttered to himself. "These were clean too."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Castiel's right hand stopped moving, the hint of a smile on his lips.


	5. Busted!

**_Okay guys, here's one of the chapters rated M for Mature, so if you're not old enough to read, please turn back now. This fic is turning out much longer than I had first anticipated, I suspect a few more chapters! Please stay tuned and enjoy!_**

* * *

Sam was not stupid. In fact, he believed himself to be the smarter of the Winchester brothers. He found that he was especially good at figuring things out from a logical perspective, but there were times where his brain just worked and worked and he couldn't stop it, it would seemingly figure something out on its own. He rolled over in his bed, squeezing his eyes shut trying to calm the loudness in his brain. It was the night after the Diner Incident and Sam's brain was repeatedly going over the events of what had happened, much to Sam's chagrin. Suddenly, something clicked, and Sam sat up in his bed. He flung his covers to the side and swung his legs over his bed.

He had pushed it out of his mind, but suddenly the memory of his brother in the guest room, moaning Castiel's name flooded his brain. Sam was no idiot, he knew what an "oh" face was.

Storming down the hall to the living room where his brother was sleeping, Sam vaguely remembered having not put pants on, but it didn't really matter; Dean had seen him in his boxers before.

"Dean!" Sam whispered forcefully, trying to quietly yell. "Dean, get up!" Sam grabbed his brothers' shoulder. Dean bolted upright and alert, grabbing a knife and flinging it around wildly before realizing he was in no immediate danger. He looked to his brother, face going from fright, to relief, to incredulousness, to frustration. It really would have been amusing to watch had the last one not been directed at him.

"What do you want Sam? I need my four hours!"

"I know, but Dean, I-I know you've been hiding something from me, and I need you to talk to me about it."

"Nothing's going on Sam! Drop it." Dean rolled his eyes and lay back down on the couch.

"So, there's nothing going on between you and Cas?"

"What? No. You're crazy." But Sam hadn't missed the look of surprised terror on his brothers' face. "There's nothing going on."

"Dean, I'm not stupid."

"Drop it Sam!" He replied, a bit more forcefully than he meant, a dubious look crossed over Sam's face before being replaced by annoyance. "You're imagining things. Besides if, hypothetically, there were something going on, why would I tell _you_ about it?"

Sam thought about this last statement for a moment, his brother did have a point. He wasn't exactly the kind to spill his guts to his little brother about whatever he was hiding. Sam shrugged and stood, knowing his brother would tell him when he was ready, although he already knew.

"All right Dean. Night."

"Night." Dean grunted in response and rolled over.

Sam began walking back to the guest room shaking his head and smiling. He had figured out that his brother had strong sexual feelings for Castiel, the angel. The sheer ludicrousness of it was enough to baffle him. He realized that was why his brother had acted so strangely before, in the diner and in the guest room. He reached the door and crossed the threshold, feeling accomplished that he had figured out the mystery. What he didn't know however, was that he was only half right, and there was another aspect he hadn't even considered.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Dean sat up, raising his eyes to the ceiling.

"Cas, get your feathery ass down here. We got a problem."

* * *

"I don't understand what you're so worried about Dean." Cas' gravelly voice came from where he was sitting on the desk across the room from Dean. "Sam knows that you have non-committal intercourse with strangers quite often."

"No, Cas." Dean ran a hand through his hair; they had been going over this for about twenty minutes now. "I have non-committal sex with _women,_ not with dudes."

"Yes you do."

"No, I don't Cas." The angel looked at the eldest Winchester with the slightest trace of annoyance on his face. As though he were patiently explaining to a child why they shouldn't put a knife in the toaster.

"But, you do."

"Listen," Dean started, clearly frustrated. He didn't exactly like his masculinity being questioned. "We've had sex. That doesn't mean that I like dudes the way I like women." He paused, trying to find the words in his head to explain himself. "I'll have sex with any woman above a five, but I will _only_ have sex with you. I'm not gay."

"If I am correct in my understanding, that was a compliment." The hint of a smile crossed Castiel's lips, ignoring Dean's exasperated sigh.

"No Cas, it wasn't a compliment, it was a statement."

"So, you're saying that I'm not good at intercourse."

"Son of a bitch! That's not what I'm saying. Look, we just can't let Sam find out about what's been going on. Okay?"

"We have agreed on this Dean, I don't understand why you've decided to bring it up now."

"Sam caught you using your angel mojo on me a few days ago. You know, when I yelled at you to stop."

"Yes," Castiels' eyes glimmered with amusement. "I did enjoy that."

"Do you have any idea how hard that was? I had to keep a straight face in front of Sam while you worked me over!"

"You could always show me."

"No, I'm not doing that again. Why did you start at the diner? In front of Sam?! Not cool!"

"I thought it was very 'cool'. I had to put you in your place, like I did the first time." Dean gulped, remembering when they had first had sex. It was the night Dean had tried to give himself to the angels. He shook his head, painfully aware of the tightness of his pants. "You enjoy thinking about it." Dean's throat was dry; he swallowed, or at least tried to. "You would enjoy it if happened again." Dean chuckled nervously at the statement.

Dean didn't have a chance to retort, as the angel's lips landed on his. Every thought that had been in Deans' head disintegrated into heat and crazed need. He closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, opening his mouth to let the angel in. Taking the opportunity, Castiel slipped his tongue in and immediately ripped a moan from the man beneath him. Dean could feel Cas settle himself between his legs, he could feel hands on his body, beginning at his shoulders, then descending to his hips, where they proceeded their journey under his shirt. He shuddered as the hands ran their way up his abdomen before an irritated growl broke through the angels' mouth. Cas pulled himself away from Dean, and sat up.

"Off." Cas looked at the other man's shirt with disdain. Dean hastily removed the offensive garment, deciding to himself that Castiel was definitely wearing too much as well. He grabbed the lapels of Cas's ever-present trench coat and pulled him into another needy kiss. His hands worked hastily, fueled by the gravelly moans his angel was making. First to hit the floor was the coat, then the tie, then his hands furiously slipped the buttons through his shirt, finally removing it and tossing it to the side with the rest. "Dean.."

Castiel thrust his hips forward, grinding himself on Dean. "Cas." Dean moaned breathily, he leaned his head back, and the angel took this invitation, kissing and biting his way down to Dean's collarbone. Dean's head was swimming, there was heat, and desire, and lust, and he wanted it so badly, but he had suddenly become very aware of the feeling of stubble on his neck. His eyes flew open, a panicked expression on his face. _I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay _ran through his head, over and over like a mantra. He gulped a breath, about to push Castiel off him when the latter slid his hand up and gently pressed it over the handprint on Dean's left shoulder. A shudder erupted through Dean, and Castiel smiled against his skin. He ground their hips together again pressed his lips against Dean's.

Sweat provided the lubricant that allowed their bodies to slide across each other. Castiel found that he enjoyed this very much. As much as he liked unraveling Dean using his powers, he much preferred taste and touch and sweat and heat. Dean was slowly coming undone beneath him, he was breathing heavily, back arched, and he was digging his nails deliciously into Cas's back. He smiled against Dean and thrust their hips together once, twice, and three times. Dean was right on the edge, pressure building in his groin, he moaned and pushed Castiel away.

"I want to see them." He demanded breathily. He held Castiel at arm's length, suddenly feeling a lack of warmth. Castiel looked down at the man, considering. His pupils were blown, hair going this way and that, sheen on his body from sweat. Cas put his arms on Deans' hips and dug his nails in.

"Beg." Malice glimmered in his eyes as Dean's back arched off the couch and he gasped.

"Castiel please. Please, for the love of god, let them out." Dean noticed a minute nod and smile from his angel. It was a sight to behold as the angel flexed his muscles, chest heaving as he pushed his wings out of his back in the blink of an eye. Dean's eyes widened as he saw the ebony wings stretch and ruffle as they adjusted to the new setting, gently scraping the ceiling and floor. He reached up and ran his hand over their velvety surface.

"Dean…" Castiel growled as he leaned over, eyelids sliding down, and he placed a hand on the back of the couch to steady himself. Dean smirked and reached up, gripping the base of the lustrous black wing. Cas's eyes flew open as he gasped. He smashed their mouths together in a desperate kiss, all tongue and teeth and breath, and he ground their hips together again, this time more forcefully.

"Shit, Cas!" Dean exclaimed around the kiss, he felt the muscles in the wing tighten and loosen repeatedly in perfect rhythm with Cas's hips. Castiel moved his mouth down to Dean's collarbone where he proceeded to bite down hard enough to hurt anybody else. "Cas, you gotta slow down."

"I won't stop Dean." Cas raised his head up and looked Dean in the eyes, something glimmered there for a moment, but as soon as Dean had noticed it, it was replaced by rough lust. Castiel ground their hips together one last time, feeling Dean tighten and give beneath him. A ragged moan escaped Dean's lips as his manhood began to convulse with orgasm. He pulled Cas down and pressed their lips together as he rode out the high of his orgasm, moaning roughly into the other man's mouth. He finished and lay back, panting and smiling.

"Oh. My. God!" Dean heard someone exclaim from what seemed like the other side of ten feet of brick wall. Castiel was frozen over him, breathing heavily. Dean's blood was rushing in his ears as he opened his eyes to see a look of surprised horror on Castiel's face. He careened his neck to see behind him over the arm of the couch, and his blood ran cold.

It was Sam.

* * *

**_I would also like to ask a teensy favor more reviews please? It will make me write faster for those of you who are enjoying this! :D_**


	6. The 'L' Word

"There's nothing going on! That's what you said Dean! What the _hell_?!" Sam was in hysterics, screaming and flailing his arms about wildly as though they would make his problems go away. "I-I-I-I mean, I don't care either way but Dean! WHAT THE HELL?!" A vein had begun throbbing in his forehead. Castiel just now regained his ability to move and clambered off Dean, picking up his clothing along the way. Dean followed suit, grabbing his t-shirt and pulling it over his head.

"I'll just-" Castiel's face was an exact duplicate as it had been at the brothel. "I'll just be going then."

"Like hell you will!" Dean said roughly standing up from the couch. "I'll nail your feathers to the floor if I have to Cas. You're not leaving." A subtle defiance in the angels' eyes was quickly pushed down as he began pulling his shirt on. To Dean's incredulity, the wings slipped right through the shirt as though it were an apparition, and not a solid object. "How long have you been standing there?" Dean inquired, turning his attention.

"Ten minutes but Dean. Shut up!" Sam's face was beet red, a tendon twitching in his neck. "I'm going to ask you questions and you _will_ answer them, understand?" Dean nodded, glancing at the angel beside him who had finally adorned all of his layers. "First, wings?" He threw his hands up in the direction of the man standing beside Dean, eyes wide.

"They are a physical manifestation of my true wings in heaven." Cas paused and looked up at his wings, almost with a look of disgust. "They are nowhere near their usual grandeur." He looked back over at Sam, who stood, hunched over and gaping at the huge protrusions.

"But-why?"

"Well-" Dean began, rubbing his neck. "I think they're-"

"You know what?" Sam cut in, "I don't want to know." He shook his head violently and sighed. He crossed over to the kitchen and grabbed a beer, grabbing one for Dean out of habit more than anything. He walked back, considered sitting on the sofa, shook his head again and made for the desk. When he had taken a few calming breaths, a few swigs of beer, and had situated himself on the desk he decided to approach head-on. "So, you two-"

The implied question hung in the air and Dean shuffled from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. After a few minutes contemplation he decided to go with cocky, as usual, and put on his biggest shit-eating grin. "What about us?" He grabbed the extra beer from Sam and plopped down on the couch. He figured if he acted like nothing was weird, nothing would be weird.

Sam had to take a second and switch gears mentally. He gulped at his beer, seeing right through his brothers' ruse, but playing along anyway. He knew that Dean would be more comfortable if he acted like screwing an angel was as natural as breathing. Glancing to Castiel, Sam was stunned that he seemed to be the most embarrassed one here, and he wasn't even the one caught doing anything out of the ordinary!

"Okay so," Sam began, flushing. "How long has - this - been going on?"

"Remember the time when he was in my way of the TV?" He motioned at Castiel, who stood motionless and slate-faced beside the couch. Sam nodded, the realization hit and he made a face like he had just sucked on a lemon.

"God, Dean!"

"Yeah." Dean chuckled nervously and upended his beer, guzzling it like a dehydrated man would when faced with water. He figured if he drank it quickly enough, it might give him a little bit of a buzz and make this whole thing easier. He eyed the bottle, nope. No way would it get him buzzed, he sighed at the loss.

"Do you guys," Sam paused, rubbing his neck. "Love each other?" Two things happened simultaneously at this point. Dean choked on his own air and began a ten minute coughing jag, whereas Castiel made the surprised and terrified face he had when Sam had just caught them.

"Love?" Dean managed to spit out after he had finished coughing. Sam watched as he put his head in his hands and sighed. Neither of them noticed the flutter of wings.

"Do you realize what kind of question that is? I mean, for us, Sammy! You know how bad that question is." He looked up at his brother, then over at the space that was now distinctly lacking an angel. "Cas?" Dean stood and looked about wildly. "Cas?!" Dean called again, as though hoping the angel would pop his head from around a corner mentioning something about a game of hide-and-seek. "Son of a bitch!" Dean kicked the couch, furious.

"Dean, what's going on?" Sam was morbidly fascinated, and he wasn't letting down.

"Drop it Sam!" Dean had begun quietly yelling, mimicking Sam from earlier on in the night.

"Dean." Sam reached out and grabbed his big brother's shoulders, making him face him. "What's going on?!"

"We-" Dean swallowed, and softened beneath his grip. "We, y'know…" Dean trailed off, and it took a moment for Sam to understand, but he did. And when he did, he was not quick enough to mask the look of disgusted disappointment that crossed his face before Dean saw it. Retaliating, Dean pushed Sam away with enough force that the big moose actually stumbled backward. "Drop it Sam." Dean's voice was threateningly low. "Just drop it." He turned away from Sam, going out to the kitchen and propping his elbows on the lip of the counter.

Sam was about to say something else when he decided to do as Dean had said and drop it, at least for tonight. He walked to the guest room, resolving to not come out again until morning.


	7. Emotions and Anger

**_Sorry this took so long, I was going through a terrible writer's block. I have listed my inspirations below, and you should check them out! This is rated somewhere between T and M, it's kind of in limbo. As always, review, follow and enjoy!_**

* * *

Castiel was not an idiot. Sure, sometimes he was confused when it came to the complexities of humanity, particularly speech and slang, but emotions weren't foreign territory. He had spent thousands of years around humans and had learned all about emotions. Cas knew what emotions humans had, but he had never before experienced them, and the more complex ones were so difficult to understand. Emotions like love and hatred weren't just one emotion, they were a cacophony that combined to form one word that could never be fully explained. However, happiness, sadness, anger, and pain were fairly easy to comprehend. In theory, most human emotions were easy to understand.

Then, an unwitting Dean came along, and actually managed to teach an angel how to _feel_.

It started off slowly, in bits and pieces. Sometimes he would feel what could only be described as happy, or angry, simple emotions. He found that pain and anger were more prevalent than happiness, which made the idea of humanity seem… Unpleasant.

He also learned that different emotions could arise from different situations. For example, he felt very nervous and uncomfortable when Dean had taken him to a brothel, but had actually felt happy as they were leaving and he heard Dean's hearty laughter. Cas had felt scared for Dean's life when they had their encounter with Raphael and the archangel had blown the windows out, his reaction to fright was to shield Dean from the shards of flying glass, but calling his very powerful brother "his little bitch" made him feel empowered and proud. He felt sad and upset when Dean had hung up on him and left him on the side of the highway to wait. And yet, he always felt dizzyingly happy around Dean.

He began to notice shortly after the run-in with Raphael that sometimes he felt all of humanities simpler emotions at once, and that was extremely unwelcome. Although he was unsure why, when around the eldest Winchester, Cas found himself what could only be described as a 'happy pain'. His heart would bang painfully in his chest and it felt as though his insides were twisting, although that was physically impossible, but at the same time he was inexplicably happy, although that was exceedingly illogical considering the looming apocalypse. Frightened, he had spent a day in a library just outside Sioux Falls, where he had read every piece of literature he could find on love, the most useful information coming from poetry. He took this knowledge with him throughout everyday life, occasionally glancing back on it when he felt a particularly nasty melting pot of emotion.

It only took him three days to realize that this only happened around the eldest Winchester.

During his studies, he read a book called "The Theory of Love" written by a forensic anthropologist. It basically said that a human orgasm could lead to feelings of attachment, but he shrugged it off, he was already attached to Dean, so why worry? However, Cas later found this information quite useful, because no matter what he did, Dean did not seem to requite his feelings.

So he used his angelic powers in one of the most disgusting ways possible, to satisfy human desire.

The first time had been an accident. Dean was being mouthy to him, again, and he was fed up. His intention was to use his powers to cause Dean pain, to teach him a lesson, but seeing his charge spread-eagle on the bed caused something to stir within him, something akin to arousal. "Don't scream Dean." He had said as he began to bumble around Dean's body with his powers. He couldn't feel Dean's skin with his vessel, but he could feel him with his grace, and it felt _good._ He liked watching Dean unravel before him, but right before he brought Dean to climax the ludicrousness of the situation clicked in his brain and he was terrified, so he fled, leaving Dean to finish his business in the bathroom alone.

The second time he had used his powers on Dean, it had been shortly after he had confessed to him that he heard him in the bathroom. He heard Dean pray to him. "Well, if it's such a damn inconvenience Cas, why didn't you just finish the job?!" Dean had yelled in his face, and Cas wanted to, so he did. Filled with lust and dirty need he worked Dean over until he had 'finished the job' and it had been the most relieving experience in his life.

The third time was when Cas was standing in the kitchen, Dean had left to go 'brush his teeth'. Once Dean was alone in the bedroom though, his voice was in Castiel's head, begging him for some 'angel mojo' and Cas had complied, although it was difficult to hold his conversation with Bobby while the hunter was moaning in his head. He had to use his coat to cover his arousal, and when Dean yelled at him to stop he did the opposite out of indignation. Dean had tersely informed him later about his brother being in the room, but Castiel hadn't felt bad at all, he had actually found it mildly amusing.

Then everything changed.

* * *

Dean was locked in the panic room for trying to give himself over to Michael, and Sam wanted to talk to Dean and asked Castiel to accompany him 'just in case' he had said, so he did.

"Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… I got laid."

"Uh, why don't you -uh- go keep an eye on Adam?" Sam had offered helpfully, but as Cas had shut the door, he didn't miss the wink that Dean had given him. He had stood there for a moment, allowing his mind to conjure up images of skin on skin and sweat and heat. He shook it off and went upstairs. He had gone back later to check on Dean and been tricked, but he knew what Dean was doing, and he was angry.

* * *

"You pray too loud." Cas had shown up two feet from Dean, putting the praying man unconscious. He had fully intended to just bring Dean back when he found him, but after seeing him, an anger unlike anything he had ever felt unfurled in his gut and he had grabbed Dean and pulled him into the alleyway.

"What're you crazy?" Dean's words added fuel to the fire as Cas threw him against the other wall.

"I rebelled for this?!" Castiel yelled, punching Dean twice before continuing. "So you could surrender to them." He threw Dean to the other wall and punched him in the gut, aiming all of his rage at Dean. All of the rage he felt at being cut off from heaven, and by Dean's own betrayal. Dean's betrayal hurt him the most. He vaguely heard Dean say the single word please, but he couldn't stop. He threw Dean to the other wall and pressed forward until they were nose to nose. "I gave everything for you, and this is what you give to me!" He could feel Dean's breath on his lips, and he wanted him, but not as badly as he wanted to hurt him. He punched, and kicked Dean into the fence. He looked down on him as Dean struggled to look up.

"Do it." Dean said. "Just do it!" At that something clenched in Castiel's nether regions, and he remembered the visions of lust that occurred to him outside the panic room.

"I'm going to teach you to respect your superiors." He leaned over and touched Dean's shoulder, transporting them to a motel room.

* * *

**_These are youtube videos that inspired me:_**

**_Destiel-It's gonna be me_**

**_Castiel is Taylor Swift - (Dean/Castiel)_**

**_Dean/Cas 'S&M'_**

**_Also look up: Helen Fisher: The brain in love Ted Talks. It's good._**


	8. That Fateful Night

**_This chapter is definitely rated M for Mature, so tread lightly! On a personal note, I would like to thank all of you for reading, favoriting, and following, it is truly an honor. I kind of struggled through this chapter, so I hope you like it! Enjoy!_**

* * *

"What the hell?" Dean said, frantically looking about at the change of scenery. If there was something else he was about to say, he didn't get the chance as he was tossed on the bed like a ragdoll.

"I am not human, Dean." Castiel began, removing his coat and tie. He was pleased to see a look of horrified fascination on Dean's face. His voice was level, but anger and desire were still boiling deep inside him. "You seem to forget that I am an angel of the lord. I am superior to you." He unbuttoned the last button of his shirt and dropped it on the floor beside him. Summoning his last bit of grace he pushed out the wings that had lay dormant inside his vessel, stretching his skin and causing discomfort. He flexed and clenched his jaw as the feathers stretched and pushed their way out of his skin. It wasn't painful; in fact it was refreshing after keeping them in so long, and it felt good to finally feel the breeze.

"Damn Cas." Dean said gruffly from where he was sprawled on the bed. His eyes were wide and his mouth gaping. His adams apple bobbed up and down as he tried to force more words out. Cas came to stand next to the bed, wings spread out ominously behind him and filling up the whole room.

"Now Dean," Castiel leaned over the bed, propping himself up between the man's thighs. "Are you ready to learn?" In the same moment, he pressed their hips together and tore Dean's shirt off with his free hand. The heat from Dean's body was coursing through his veins, beginning at his roaming fingertips, and ending in his groin. He could feel Dean's excitement through his jeans, and he smiled. Dean was still staring at him wide-eyed when Cas leaned down further and smashed their mouths together in a desperate kiss.

Castiel reveled in the frantic moans emitting from the hunter beneath him. He knew that he wanted something, and he wanted it _now_, and it was that pure, unadulterated need that coursed through him and let his emotions take over. Before he knew it he had flipped Dean over onto his hands and knees, pulled his pants down, and was fumbling with his own belt.

"Cas." Was all that Dean was able to choke out as Castiel finished with his garment and released the throbbing member into the air. His wings rustled with anticipation as he ran his hand over the hindquarters of the eldest Winchester.

He spat on his hand and slickened himself before positioning himself at the other man's entrance. "Don't move Dean." Was all Castiel whispered as he slammed himself inside, Dean cried out and clenched the sheets. It was in that moment that the ecstasy of emotions dulled, and he realized exactly what he was doing. "Dean, I won't go through with this if you don't want me to." He waited, but there was no sound. Just as he was pulling out a hand grabbed his wrist and slowed him.

"Don't stop Cas." Dean ground out, and that was all the angel needed. The yes that allowed entrance. Castiel slammed into the hunter again, earning himself a low groan that resonated throughout Dean's entire body. He gripped Dean's hips and slammed into him again, going a little faster this time. He knew he was doing something right as he heard Dean's breathing matching his tempo. He could feel something building up in the pit of his stomach. His senses were heightened and he could feel all of the heat and sweat in himself and the man he was inside. Dean's breath hitched when the angel reached around and enveloped Dean in his hand. He matched himself with the speed his hand was going. "Cas," Dean breathed. "You gotta slow down man, or I'm not gonna make it." Castiel smiled in the dark.

"You will not cum until I say you can Dean." He said menacingly as he slammed himself harder and applied light pressure with his hand, picking up his pace. Dean moaned and lowered his head; he clenched the sheets hard enough to turn his knuckles white. Cas leaned over until his chest was against Dean's back, sweat sticking them together slightly. "Beg me for it, Dean." He breathed into Dean's ear, making him shutter. He leaned back up and started thrusting faster.

"Cas, please." Dean pleaded.

"No."

"Please, for the love of God!"

"No!" Castiel could feel that he was on the verge. The sweet pressure trailing from the pit of his stomach down to the base of his erection. He pushed it off, relishing in the fact that he was in control. He was in control of the alcoholic, pessimistic, aggressive, exasperating, and stubborn Dean Winchester, and he was not going to let him win.

"Castiel, angel of the friggin lord, please let me cum!" Dean shouted, and that was the push Castiel needed, suddenly he was over the edge.

"Cum for me Dean!" Castiel roared as he felt the pressure finally push itself out of him. He heard Dean give out a strangled moan as he dug his nails deeper into the man's hips. It was the most exhilarating experience of his life. Everything from his sweet release, to the feeling of Dean beneath and around him was unlike anything he had ever felt. He squeezed his eyes shut to feel everything that he could; vaguely hearing the television set shatter and the wood in the bed splinter. His heart was pounding in his chest, stars clouding his lidded eyes, and blood rushing in his ears as he released himself into Dean. When his climax was over he sat back on his heels as Dean rolled over onto his back, blood still trickling from his lip. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily, a small bit of semen on his chest from his orgasm, but most of it was on the bed.

"We must get you back now." And before Dean could even argue, he was unconscious and clothed. Castiel took a moment to stare at him before pulling his own clothes on, and dragging his wings back into his vessel. It was in that moment, that simple second, that Castiel understood what love was, and he felt the pang of despair as he realized that it was not likely that Dean would love him back. Shaking his head he propped Dean up on his shoulder and transported them.

* * *

Sam was getting very upset with Bobby, questioning him as to where the hell Adam had gotten to.

"He was right in front of me, then he disappeared into thin air." Said Bobby.

"Because the angels took him." With a rush of air and the sound of fluttering wings, Dean and Castiel appeared in the living room to their left. Sam looked over, startled. Castiel was supporting a bloody, bruised, unconscious Dean. He had his arm around his waist and his other hand holding Dean's arm that was slung around his shoulders.

"What the hell happened to him?" Sam demanded, gesturing at his brother.

"Me." Cas replied solidly, staring at Sam and silently begging him not to press further. When Sam didn't pursue the subject, the angel carefully moved himself and Dean over to the bed underneath the window in Bobby's living room. He laid Dean down as gently down on the bed as possible. The reason for this was not because Cas didn't want to hurt him, because he found that he was still slightly angry, but Dean had gotten enough of a beating for the moment. He took a quick second to stare down at his charge, a renewed affection dulling the anger he had had moments before. He turned at the sound of rolling wheels.

"What do you mean the angels took Adam? You branded his ribs didn't you?" Bobby questioned from the doorway.

"Yes, Adam must have tipped them." He said simply and, with a flutter of wings, was gone. Sam turned to Bobby who shrugged. He ran his hand through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh.


	9. Conversations and Plans

_**Sorry this took me so long guys, I've been busy with the holidays and things have been hectic. Please enjoy this next installment!**_

* * *

It had been weeks since Sam had walked in on his brother underneath his male companion, and the air had been tense. He had tried to approach the subject a few times, but after having to dodge a few swings, he had decided that it would be best if he were to just let it go. As it was, the angels had Adam and they were deciding the best course of action, but Sam could tell that between the three of them, none of their heads were in the game. Bobby had to keep snapping them back to attention, and after holding a one-sided conversation for ten minutes he gave up and left the house.

This left Sam, Castiel, and Dean standing awkwardly in the living room. Dean had been pointedly not looking at the angel, and Castiel had let his façade down, revealing a mixture of sadness and anger. He would alternate between staring longingly at Dean and frowning at the floor. After a few minutes of this, Dean mumbled something inaudible and left the room, leaving Sam alone with Cas.

A few awkward moments passed of Cas shuffling from foot to foot and Sam rubbing his neck and arguing with himself over whether or not he should ask the question going over and over in his mind.

"Are you in love with my brother?" Sam blurted out, searching the angel for any sign of a truthful answer.

"Of course not." Cas replied, voice obviously strained. He was giving a fake toothy grin, all the color had drained from his face, and he had said this a bit too hastily. Sam cocked an eyebrow at the angel, obviously knowing he was not telling the whole truth. After a few minutes Cas dropped the fake grin, sighed, and bowed his head. He sat down on the couch behind him, a small puff of dust coming out under his weight. After a few more minutes of awkward silence Sam decided to ask again.

"Cas, I know we're not close and I'm pretty sure you don't exactly like me, but even so. I know my brother and I'm just looking out for him so I need to know. Do you – ya know – love him or something?"

"It's not that simple Sam." Cas began, speaking quietly to the floor. "Your brother and I have been partaking in sexual activities for quite some time now. It began because I was angry at him. He's indignant, uncouth, and melodramatic and sometimes I can't decide whether I want to punch him or kiss him. I've tried punching, but kissing him is so much more… fulfilling. I could not have had sex with him that night if I did not feel something more than primitive lust for him; it would have been adulterous. I feel closer to him than I have ever felt to anyone, angel or human. However, whenever we are mid-coitus, I can hear his thoughts and they only consist of four words: 'I am not gay.' Clearly he must be homosexual, he is in the middle of having sex with a man. Well, an angel in a male vessel. I begin to wonder if I am not pleasuring him well enough for him to-"

"That's enough, please."

"What?" This was the first time Castiel had looked up and the look he saw on Sam's face was a mixture of disgust, amusement, and sheer bewilderment.

"That was too much information." Sam sighed and slid a hand through his hair mulling the words together in his head before speaking them. "Look, Dean and I – well we're not exactly the best at expressing emotions that expose weakness; like love. If something bad knows you love something, what you love becomes the target. I loved Jessica more than anything, and she was targeted and died because of me. That's what this business does; it kills people, even us. I'm sure even you will die too, probably soon considering how happy you've made Dean – "

"He doesn't seem too happy at the moment."

"Because you've proven to him that he's vulnerable. Right now you're his weak spot, and he just realized it. As for the gay thing, that's probably something you'll have to deal with. Dean likes to think of himself as 'the macho man' which leaves no room for – well, gay tendencies."

"These emotions are so complex and uncontrollable. What do I do?"

"Give him some space." Sam replied simply, staring at the angel. With a minute nod, there was a flutter of wings and the angel was gone.

* * *

"I've got a plan." Dean said as he walked back into the living room, his hair was dripping wet from having taken a shower. "When Zachariah took me into the white room he left me there for a while, if we could find that white room we could grab Adam, kill that dick angel and Michael wouldn't possess anyone."

"Okay," Sam replied, he hadn't moved from where he stood when he and Castiel had had their conversation. "But where _is_ the white room."

Dean thought about this for a moment. "I don't know, but we should probably get researching, since it looks like the nerd angel disappeared again. Figures." As Dean turned away Sam saw the smallest glimmer of sadness pass over his features. He shook his head and hoped Cas wouldn't be gone too long.


	10. Space

After hours of researching, Dean's eyes were beginning to get tired from flipping through the book he had been given. Bobby had returned shortly after Dean had announced his plan and, after hearing about Dean's idea, had put them to work.

"I got jack on any holy holding cells, you guys?" Dean asked, looking up from his book and taking a swig of beer. He was on his third one and was hoping to have four more before the night was up. He had decided that drowning his various emotions was better than facing them. As he saw it, he didn't have any emotions right now. He was just the hardened hunter that he had always been. He had pushed Castiel completely out of his mind and planned to continue until he was dull inside again. All he was supposed to care about was the looming apocalypse and the welfare of his little brother. There was no room for infatuations of any sort, whether it be for woman or man, or angel in a man suit. He had been blocking Cas out of his mind and life since they had gotten caught by Sam, but it wasn't just the physicality's of their strange relationship he found himself missing. It was the angel's stoic nature and up-front personality that he missed. No, he didn't miss Castiel. He couldn't allow himself to. He didn't miss Castiel.

"I got nothing." Replied Bobby from his spot behind his desk, pulling Dean out of his reverie.

"Wait, here's something." Sam spoke up, not looking up from the text. "It says here that there's a place to keep the holiest of humans on Earth since they can't survive in Heaven."

"Keep going." Dean prodded.

"It says it's in a sanctuary unable to be found but by those who know the location."

"So, we're screwed."

"Not necessarily," Sam responded, giving his brother a shrug and half a smile. "There's always Cas." Dean looked at his brother as though he had just been slapped.

"No." He responded shaking his head violently. "No friggin way." He chugged the rest of his beer and got up for another.

"The way I see it," Bobby called after him. "We ain't got no other choice! So make the call!" Dean came back, still shaking his head.

"And the way I see it," Dean spat. "We've been doing this for years without him!"

"In case you haven't noticed princess, we haven't been dealing with _ANGELS_ till he came around!"

"We can figure it out!"

"And how do you expect we do that? Wave our magic wands and the place will be lit up in Christmas lights? It doesn't work that way Dean! We need his help!"

"I DON'T NEED HIM BOBBY!"

The air was still as Dean stood shaking and flushed in the middle of the living room, fingers white-knuckled against the bottle he was gripping. Bobby looked shocked at the outburst and Sam sat, afraid to move a muscle. They stayed like that for what felt like hours. It wasn't Sam who broke the silence, nor was it Bobby, or even Dean. It was a faint fluttering of wings.

* * *

Castiel stood a foot away from Dean, seemingly unaware of what had just happened. "I have found where the angels are keeping Adam."

"What, so now you've been listening in on our conversations?!" Dean rounded on him, he got right up in his face and began yelling, but the angel did not flinch or fluster.

"No."

"You just hear your name and your ears prick up like a dog?!"

"No."

"Then how did you know we were going for him?!"

"It is your nature, Dean." Dean could feel the angel's stare boring into what felt like his soul. Those emotions he was suppressing welled up inside, but he shoved them down with anger.

"Well, if you hadn't gone and stopped me from giving myself to Michael, Adam would be fine, wouldn't he?! So it's _your_ fault. In the end _you_ stuck him in that position, didn't you!"

"I did what I thought was right. I unsuspectingly traded him for you." His eyes hardened, and Dean knew what he meant. He knew that was a bold statement, it wasn't just he had traded Adam for Dean. It meant that he had saved Dean at the expense of another man's life. He wanted to push Cas away, it was so much easier to dislike someone who hated you, and Dean wanted Castiel to hate him. He wanted Cas to hate him so much he couldn't stand to be around him. So he mustered up all the anger, the hatred and the pain he felt and willed it to him. He stared into those deep blue eyes, hoping that all everything would show, giving Cas that push out of his life. He fumed at the angel, rage rolling off him in waves. Cas stood there unwavering. After what felt like an eternity, to their left, Sam cleared his throat.

"So, where is this room?"

"I can bring you." He hadn't even glanced away from Dean's gaze.

"Well, that's that." Sam got up and headed toward the two in the middle of the room, hoping to pull them apart. "Bobby we'll – " But before he could finish his sentence, there were fingers on his forehead and he was zapped to the middle of a parking lot right outside of an abandoned warehouse.

* * *

"Where the hell are we?" Dean asked roughly as soon as he felt his feet on the ground. He and Sam followed Cas as he began walking quickly alongside the building.

"Van Nuys, California."

"Where's the beautiful room?" Dean was not allowing his anger to die down, so everything he said came out as harsh.

"In there."

"Tell me again why you don't just grab Adam and shazam the hell out of there." Sam said from his spot beside Dean. They had stopped beside a door and Cas was facing them now.

"Because there are at least five angels in there."

"So? You're fast."

"They're faster." Dean watched as the man in front of him removed his tie and wrapped it around his hand. "I'll clear them out, you two grab the boy. This is our only chance."

"Woah, wait. You're going to take on five angels?!" Dean stared at Cas, who stared back. Incredulity winning over his anger just for the time it took to ask the question, he quickly righted himself back to fuming.

"Yes."

"Isn't that suicide?" Sam asked.

"Maybe it is." Cas paused, pulling a box cutter out of his pocket and turning around. There was deafening silence as Dean and Sam watch the angel's back. His head bowed and hand moving furiously, occasionally they heard him hiss, probably in pain. After another minute, he turned around. The knife was covered in blood and his shirt was unbuttoned, revealing a sliver of blood-stained skin. His eyes flickered to Sam and landed back on Dean. "But you need space from me." He didn't wait for an answer as he walked inside the warehouse.

Dean stood there, gawking at the air where Cas had been standing. Sam watched emotions flash over his face as he heard the battle rage inside the warehouse.

"That stupid, selfish, self-sacrificing, son of a bitch!" Dean screamed at the sky as he kicked the ground. He continued ranting all though Sam was shushing him. "I swear Sam. I swear if he's not dead in there!" Sam grabbed his arm when he didn't hear anything inside the warehouse. "I'll friggin kill him!" He shouted as Sam pulled him into the warehouse. "You hear me Sam? I'll _KILL_ – " but the last word died on his lips as he took in the expanse of the empty warehouse. Cas was nowhere to be found. "That selfish son of a bitch." Dean whispered, shoulders slumped. Sam knew they couldn't wait around, so Dean felt his brother tug at him again and pull him into the beautiful room.


End file.
